i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
