Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
