I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Someone signed my nipple.
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