sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
