shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
