shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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