I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
