I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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