So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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