I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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