Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Someone shit on the floor
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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