so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
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...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
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If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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