do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
