I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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