You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just high enough for therapy.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
