Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
