Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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