No stitches, just platelets and will power
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
