: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize