brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize