please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize