mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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