no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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