it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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