Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize