i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
