I'm drive I can fine osifer
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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