She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.