if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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