I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.