party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.