Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.