then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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a search helicopter?!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Damn victory sex feels great