I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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