Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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