If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
