the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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