he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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