whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize