i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
