I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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