If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
