Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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