If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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