ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
