in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do herpes really smell.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.