Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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