I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
