If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
