She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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