real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
