Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
