PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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