im drinking this country out of the recession.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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