idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
People in love make me want to vomit
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
