She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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