Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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