I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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