Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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