i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
