I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
FUCK WHALES
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
