a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
