Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need moral support for this bender
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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